To All The Couples Who Have Had to Reschedule Your Weddings
The pandemic has caused the postponement (and possible cancellation) of so many events: The Olympics, family vacations, baseball, basketball, probably football — the list goes on and on. One of the postponements that hits closest to home for me, however, is all the engaged couples who have had to put their big day on indefinite hold.
As a semi-newlywed myself, the memories of my beautiful wedding are still so fresh and special that I can’t bear to think about what I would have done if I had been told it couldn’t happen. As with most things in life, though, there’s no going around it. You just have to go through it. Here, then, is my open letter to all the couples who have had to reschedule their weddings.
Dear friend:
What else is there to say but I’m sorry? And while “I’m sorry for your loss,” might seem like an exaggeration (it’s not a funeral, after all), I truly am sorry for what you have lost: the experience of saying “I do” to the person you love most, exactly when and how you had intended.
Your wedding is one of the most meaningful moments of your life. Rescheduling your big day takes an emotional toll (not to mention a financial one), and it can’t be easy going through that under regular circumstances, much less a pandemic.
I imagine you’re both exhausted: from planning, from re-planning, from calling friends and family and discussing your change in plans ad nauseum.
I wish I had some advice for you, but I also suspect you’re tired of friends and family providing their unsolicited two cents. So, instead of advice, I’d like to share with you my admiration for you: for your maturity, determination and compassion.
The decision to postpone your wedding is a mature one stemming from thoughtful consideration. You encountered a problem as a couple, and you pursued its solution together. You were determined to do what was right for your circumstances, even if you encountered numerous roadblocks along the way. Most importantly, I admire your compassion for each other. These are tumultuous times, which I imagine at some point brought out the worst in both of you. (Speaking honestly, it’s brought out the worst in me as well – and in everyone else I know!) Your ability to approach your partner with grace and understanding when they are at their worst will serve the both of you well for the rest of your lives.
My hope is that you both get through this with a stronger relationship than you ever had. If, after the pandemic subsides and the related dust settles, you’re still excited to get married, then rest assured that you can handle anything that comes your way. Your relationship has been tested, and you persevered. You prioritized each other, as well as the health and safety of your friends and families. You did all the unglamorous legwork of calling vendors, rescheduling appointments, renegotiating contracts. You created a contingency plan, and if that fell through, you created another.
By conquering all your setbacks together, you’ve created an unshakeable foundation. From here on out, whatever life brings your way, you’re ready.
And, if nothing else, you have a great story to tell your grandchildren.
Here’s to a future of #OnlyJoy.
Kathleen