Make Today Part of Your Highlight Reel

I had dinner recently with a group of girlfriends who get together monthly. Some members of the group — which spans from 50-somethings to 80-somethings — are talking about moving elsewhere for their retirement, whether to be closer to grandchildren or to escape the searing Texas summers. 

As I listened to everybody’s plans, I suddenly got wistful for my friends — as if I were already missing them, even though we were all in the same room, enjoying a delicious meal and some great conversation.

And then it hit me: in a few years, when this group of friends has dispersed, I’m going to look back on these dinners as “the good old days.” That thought brought me back to the present and reminded me that the best time — the only time, really — to appreciate the “good old days” is today.

That’s easy to forget, particularly when every day is filled with chores and work. But I’m trying hard to hit “pause” whenever I can and appreciate what I’m going to miss about the here and now. Sometimes, the thing I’m pre-nostalgic about is the clerk at the coffee shop near my house who somehow always remembers my order, and sometimes, it’s a holiday gathering where everybody has had just the right amount of wine, and I feel like I’m living in a Hallmark movie. 

Believe me, I wasn’t always this way.

I remember how exhausted I was when my son was young. It seemed like there was never enough time to get everything done and still spend the kind of time with him that I wanted. At least, that’s how I felt then. 

But, now, when I play the highlight reel of his younger years, I only remember the giggles and the smiles and the hugs, and I long for those days that — compared to his young adult days — were almost laughably easy. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and visit young mom Kathleen and tell her to quit worrying and enjoy this blink-of-an-eye chapter in her son’s life — to bathe herself in the chaos and the activity and the mess. Sometimes, when my house seems a little overly quiet and tidy, I wouldn’t mind a bit of mess if it were accompanied by a little boy running to hug my knees.

Of course, now I have the luxury of a second chance in the form of my beautiful granddaughter, Scarlett. Not only do I get to remember the joy of easy-to-solve problems (like hunger, boredom, and skinned knees), but I also get to, in my role as her GJ, provide her tired parents with some much-needed parenting breaks so that they can hit “pause” and remember the beauty, and the joy, of the here and now.

Staying grounded in the present isn’t easy, particularly when you’re a planner and a preparer, as I am. Much of my day, both personally and professionally, is either forward-looking — anticipating problems and working to resolve them before they arise — or backward-looking — figuring out what went wrong and trying to prevent it from happening again.

But this is the only today we have. Make sure you hit “pause” and store some memories in your lifetime highlight reel.

Wishing you #OnlyJoy,

Kathleen