When is it Time to Ditch (or Tweak) Holiday Traditions?
Every family has treasured holiday traditions that give structure and ritual to this special time of year. That could be running a 5K on Thanksgiving morning, opening loads of presents on Christmas morning, hosting extended family on New Year’s Eve —the list goes on and on.
Particularly when your family is at a transition point — such as when your “children” are no longer children and they’re impossible to buy for, or when grandchildren enter the picture you may find yourself rethinking your existing traditions.
And when I say, “you may find yourself,” what I mean is, “I may find myself.”
When Grandchildren Enter the Picture
As you may have heard, I’m a grandmother now. But I haven’t forgotten what it’s like to be a new mom, and how hard it is to travel with a young one. When my son was a baby, I dutifully packed up my family for a holiday trip to New York City to see my family, when what I really wanted to do was create my own family traditions in my own home.
I vowed then I wouldn’t expect my child to do the same. Mind you, if he wants to bring the most beautiful baby in the world to Dallas, they are more than welcome. We’ll roll out the red carpet. But, more than anything, we want them to have their own holiday rituals they can fill their photo albums and hearts with.
Throw Out the Old Playbook
Even without grandchildren in the mix, the mere passage of time can call for rethinking how to spend the holidays. I have a friend who had been desperate to switch up her family’s Christmas morning ritual, consisting of mountains of presents nobody needed. As her daughters got older, they were harder to please, and she and her husband stressed out overwhat to buy two adults with very specific but hard-to-divine tastes.
Last year, at her urging, the family threw out the old playbook and spent the holidays in Ireland. Instead of mountains of gifts, they each received one small gift purchased in Dublin — and a wonderful holiday in a beautiful country.Of course, the trip to Ireland cost far more than their home-based holidays, but the pattern had been broken. With the mountainous expectations removed, she says, her holidays now feel much lighter and more enjoyable.
Traditions can be beautiful and fun, but they can also be oppressive if they don’t change to fit your and your family’s evolving needs. Don’t be afraid to revisit your “we’ve always done it this ways” and see if it’s time for a new and possibly better path.
However you choose to spend the next few weeks, I wish you the coziest and most joyful of
holiday seasons.
#OnlyJoy
Kathleen